LIFEdevelopment.info - Chasing Utopia

Gender

This episode presents opinions on how male sexuality and identity is perceived in society, and on how these aspects of maleness present themselves in male behaviour. Underlying the dialogue is the view that modern males face a number of difficulties and that consequently their identity is becoming confused.

 

A - Male Identity

This episode presents the view that men and boys have been subject to societal change and negative influences that have produced confusion about their roles.

• The big problem with the troubled heart of men today is that they can’t say who they are.
• My impression is that men are very confused about what to do now.
• I think a lot of guys feel that there is some guy somewhere who is showing them all up.
• People I am very close to have been through a kind of a process of saying "what I learned as a boy about being a guy is seriously obsolete".

1. What changes in the world have contributed to changed perceptions of male identity?
2. Do you think that many men and boys are confused about who they really are?
3. Do you agree with the view that men are not respected as much as they used to be in our society?

 

B - Male Connection

In this episode, Australian men are portrayed as having some difficulties in relating to others and managing their emotions.

• We don’t say to boys "look after your family, look after your relationships".
• In Italy men are related. In Australia men are too disconnected.
• Cultures that have a lot of integration have a strong cultural cohesion…and they tend to have lower rates of suicide.

1. What do you think of the view that Italian men are better connected to relationships and families than Australian men are? What prevents Australians from connecting?
2. Is it fair to say that many Australian men could be more open to their emotions?
3. To what extent do you think good relationships and slower pace of societal change protect men from suicide?
4. Is the Australian situation replicated here in the UK and in other countries of the "Western" world?

 

C - Fathers

Male identity, power base, quality of relationships, and sexuality all impact on men’s capacity to be good fathers.

• I have an issue with men because my father wasn’t available to me.
• Men feel that being a father isn’t so important.
• If you see someone doing something stupid on TV these days, it’s nearly sure to be a man.

1. Do you notice the media portraying fathers as being muddling or incompetent? If so, why do you think this portrayal happens?
2. How much do you think your father was or is influenced by his culture to play stereotyped male roles?
3. How well has your father played his "father" roles for you? If he has not done so well, what may be some of the causes of his struggle to meet your needs?

 

D - Male and Female Roles

The episode refers to role confusion between males and females. A number of causes are suggested.

• There are a lot of changes in society…and people are afraid, and one of those massive changes is the shift in the role of women.
• Another feeling is that men have to placate women all the time.
• I’ve always wanted men’s roles
• I think what’s driving gender reversal would be people are starting to realise, starting to think about different roles in society.

1. In your view, have womens’ roles in society changed enough to create confusion about how men and women should play their respective roles?
2. In what ways do you see changing male and female roles influencing male-female relationships?
3. Do you think males and females are now confused about how to relate to each other romantically?

 

E - Male Sexuality

Male identity is related to male sexuality. The episode refers to some issues men face in expressing their sexuality.

• Homo eroticism is embedded into the popular culture.
• It’s the body, it’s satisfying women, it’s not so much the family man.
• The important part of being a boy is "don’t be a girl and don’t be gay".
• There is this constant concern with a man who calls himself "straight".

1. Do you agree with the opinion that many young women these days are looking for good looking males with shaped bodies, rather than "family men".
2. To what extent do you think gay sexuality is making it hard for boys to grow up with a balanced identity?
3. How do you see society’s perceptions of desirable male sexuality affecting male identity?

 

F - Male Power

We all need to have impact or influence on other people. These are forms of power. The episode provides some negative views on where many men have derived their power.

• She’s mine. She’s my property.
• We keep building up insecurities…like tearing people down. It’s all about power.
• Men are finding work more and more problematic for all kinds of reasons.

1. Where do our views of desirable masculinity come from? Are they rooted in the wars and violence of western history, the workplace, modern movies, or elsewhere?
2. In your opinion, why would males think that their wives are their own property?
3. What do you think constitutes genuine male power?

 

G - Overview

1. Whether male or female, how well do you relate to the males in your life? How can you improve your relationships with males?
2. What would you suggest to men and boys about developing a healthy identity?
3. Is there a spiritual component in maleness that the speakers here have overlooked?
4. If you are a male, are you happy with your identity? What can you do to become who you want to be?

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© 2002 British Union Conference of Seventh-day Adventists